The Trinity of Self
The word Trinity is often referred to as the three-in-one Person of the God of the Bible. There is another trinity (lower case t) of my self-centered world. There are these three sides to my thinking. I am 1) selfish, 2) self-centered, and 3) live in self-pity. The perfect storm! I live with most of these defects of characters each day, sometimes one or the other is more prevalent, or there are days when I am not consciously aware that I am living in the self-centered world. Ah, before you judge me, I ask that you look for these defects in your life. If you still cannot see it, try a dose of humility.
What does it mean to be selfish, self-centered and self-pity? On page 62 of the Big Book has all three in two sentences and others added on for humility. It is the root of our (mine) troubles!
“Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows, and they retaliate.”
What is selfishness? It is me being concerned excessively or exclusively, about me or my advantage over you; where I am overly concerned with self-pleasure, or my welfare, at the expense of you.
What does it mean to be self-centered? It is being preoccupied with my affairs at the expense of yours. This is the area where my ego allows me to go.
What does it mean to live in self-pity? This is my most active, “weakness.” Self-pity is when I feel suffering and misfortune because of self-indulgence thinking which I accept as truth, but it is all about me wanting something I do not deserve. Often it is a failure of faith, failed thinking and puffing myself up as I deserve something more than you do.
On the flip side, is to see the trinity of AA as well, which is healthier of the trinity of self. When we look at the AA logo of the circle and triangle that is most closely associated with AA, the triangle is three-sided, each side representing, Service, Recovery, and Unity.
So, the trinity of AA is how we should relate to each other. The Trinity of the Bible is how we should love one another.
And the trinity of self should be overpowered by those other two trinities; AA’s Service, Unity, and Recovery and most important learning to Love one another.